Dr. Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist, speaker, and author of The Boy Crisis. He has been interviewed by Oprah, Barbara Walters, Tucker Carlson, Peter Jennings, and many others. Dr. Farrell conducts communication workshops, and his writings have been frequently featured in The New York Times.
In this episode, Dr. Farrell and I discuss issues that lead to mass homicides committed by young men. We also talk about child-rearing and boundary enforcement, discriminating between male competence and male power compulsion, and the importance of recognizing and rewarding a father’s contributions to their children’s development. Dr. Farrell and I also share a personal message to anyone who may be harboring vengeful fantasies.
—Chapters—[0:00] Intro[2:51] The Boy Crisis & Mass Shootings[8:57] A Lack of Father Figures[9:29] Differences Between Mothers, Fathers, & Boundary Enforcement[13:42] Why Family Dinners Matter[15:43] Frans de Waal, Chimp Behavior, & the Human Moral Ethos[18:45] Why Involved Fathers Matter[22:59] Psychology of School Shooters[25:41] Dr. Farrell’s Similarities with the Uvalde Shooter[33:25] Effects of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ & ‘Male Privilege’ on Young Men[37:03] Male Competence vs. Male Power Compulsion[42:15] Saying ‘No’ & Expecting Girls to Share Rejection-Risks[44:49] Crumb & Psychopathological Fantasies[47:00] Conflicting Emotions & Motivations[49:22] “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”[53:58] “When only one sex wins, both lose”[54:12] On Feminism[57:36] Empathy, Facades, & Male Vulnerability[1:03:51] Why Play Matters[1:12:33] Teasing, Bullying, & Resilience[1:17:32] Rewarding Dads[1:20:36] Appreciation Training[1:24:07] Character Development[1:29:07] Status, Negotiation, & Reconciliation[1:33:34] Opponent Processing & Handling Criticism[1:43:46] Words for Anyone Harboring Vengeful Fantasies[1:46:51] Setting Families Up for Success